1 00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:10,930 Good morning. 2 00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:15,510 Willie, your Uncle Doug is dead. 3 00:00:17,210 --> 00:00:20,110 Uncle Doug's been dead for two years. I know. 4 00:00:20,550 --> 00:00:22,750 So stop sending him Christmas cards. 5 00:00:23,470 --> 00:00:27,970 Oh, Willie, I want you to see this. Look, here, the very first Christmas 6 00:00:27,970 --> 00:00:28,669 ever got. 7 00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:31,190 From our good friends. 8 00:00:32,110 --> 00:00:33,410 At the gas company. 9 00:00:34,490 --> 00:00:39,010 Oh, that was a good first Christmas, wasn't it? We relaxed, we stayed in bed 10 00:00:39,010 --> 00:00:44,410 late. It was too cold to get up. Our friends at the gas company turned off 11 00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:45,410 heat. 12 00:00:45,590 --> 00:00:49,750 But as I recall, we weren't in any big hurry to get up anyway. 13 00:00:50,470 --> 00:00:51,610 Merry Christmas! 14 00:00:54,950 --> 00:00:57,210 He knows when we're awake. 15 00:00:58,050 --> 00:00:59,790 It's the day before Christmas. 16 00:01:00,030 --> 00:01:01,550 I've hidden all the eggs. 17 00:01:02,570 --> 00:01:06,110 Al, we hide eggs at Easter, not at Christmas. 18 00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:07,530 Oh, that's right. 19 00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:09,970 Christmas is when we carve the pumpkin. 20 00:01:10,990 --> 00:01:14,570 Oh, you two get these holidays straightened out. I think I'll just go 21 00:01:14,570 --> 00:01:16,250 breakfast. Not necessary. 22 00:01:16,450 --> 00:01:17,930 I already made breakfast. 23 00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:20,290 Sloppy Joes and fiberglass. 24 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,230 I'll just go find the eggs. 25 00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:27,910 Why did you make us breakfast? 26 00:01:28,210 --> 00:01:29,290 Because of the lift. 27 00:01:29,770 --> 00:01:30,770 What lift? 28 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,140 Santa. You know, the fat guy that dresses in velvet? 29 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:39,640 I found out that he watches everything you do, writes it down, and if your 30 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,940 naughties outnumber your nices, you don't get toys. 31 00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:45,180 So, you made us breakfast? 32 00:01:45,780 --> 00:01:46,759 Can't hurt. 33 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,160 Oh, oh, and I've got another surprise for you. 34 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,140 Willie! Our Christmas tree! 35 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:54,960 Well, what have you done? 36 00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:57,360 I don't want to spoil the surprise. 37 00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:05,030 Alf, you cut our tree in the firewood. 38 00:02:06,370 --> 00:02:07,410 You're welcome. 39 00:03:19,790 --> 00:03:23,030 All right, let me see if I've got this reindeer thing straight. 40 00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:29,510 There's Dasher, Dancer, Comet, Cupid, 41 00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:32,270 Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. 42 00:03:33,710 --> 00:03:39,510 No, it's Prancer, Dancer, Vixen, Blitzen. 43 00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:42,390 Yui, Dewey, and Louie. 44 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,650 No, those are ducks. 45 00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:46,890 Then how do they pull the sled? 46 00:03:49,030 --> 00:03:53,550 Okay, the lights are ready. Now all we need is a tree. Well, your dad should be 47 00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:54,550 here with a new one soon. 48 00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:58,030 What's taking him so long? Oh, you know your father. He has to find just the 49 00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,030 perfect tree. 50 00:03:59,110 --> 00:04:01,670 Well, I hope he makes it back before it snows. 51 00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:03,390 It's gonna snow? 52 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,570 Me! No, it's not. 53 00:04:05,770 --> 00:04:06,770 Sure it is. 54 00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:08,630 It always snows at Christmas. 55 00:04:08,930 --> 00:04:10,310 I saw it on TV. 56 00:04:10,870 --> 00:04:17,410 All the stuff floats down and covers the whole town and people go sledding and 57 00:04:17,410 --> 00:04:18,410 make snowmen. 58 00:04:18,950 --> 00:04:21,350 Then Santa slides in on a rotary shaver. 59 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:25,670 Alf, it doesn't snow in this part of the state. 60 00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:27,470 Wait a minute. 61 00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:29,290 I saw snow on Mr. 62 00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:30,770 T's Christmas special. 63 00:04:31,210 --> 00:04:32,830 And they tape in Burbank. 64 00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:35,290 Alf, that was fake snow. 65 00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:37,670 Well, that's it for Christmas. 66 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:41,830 Alf, it is possible to have Christmas without snow. 67 00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:45,270 I don't want to talk about it. Let's move on to New Year's. 68 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,920 Mom, I found another egg. 69 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,820 Oh, Al, who said you got them all? 70 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,500 All but that one, I swear. 71 00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:53,700 Here's one more. 72 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,880 And the one in the philodendron. 73 00:04:57,220 --> 00:05:01,420 Oh, hi. I'm sorry I'm late. Hi, Dad. What's on the box? Hi, honey. 74 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:06,440 Where's the tree? Where's the tree? The tree. The box. 75 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,480 Let me just explain. 76 00:05:09,980 --> 00:05:11,560 Why are you holding eggs? 77 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:13,920 Didn't you get a tree? 78 00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:18,490 Oh, no. I mean, yes. I mean, yes. 79 00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:20,750 Let's start with a simple question. 80 00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:22,290 What's your name? 81 00:05:23,770 --> 00:05:26,050 Please let me try to explain this my way. 82 00:05:26,570 --> 00:05:30,130 You see, I went to every lot in town. I found lots. 83 00:05:30,590 --> 00:05:31,590 Empty lots. 84 00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:38,630 Except one where this man named Fahid had just this one tree left. 85 00:05:39,010 --> 00:05:42,310 So where is it? He was auctioning it off to the highest bidder. 86 00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:45,890 I dropped out when the price got to $100. 87 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:47,430 I have my pride. 88 00:05:47,770 --> 00:05:48,890 And we have no tree. 89 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:54,590 We have a tree. We have a Christmas tree, and it's right here. 90 00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:57,450 Behind the box? It's in the box. 91 00:05:58,110 --> 00:05:59,590 A fake tree. 92 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,450 It's a lifelike simulated tree, yes. 93 00:06:03,750 --> 00:06:05,550 What do you do, just add water? 94 00:06:06,430 --> 00:06:08,770 No, we put it together. Together. 95 00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:12,210 Yeah, it'll be a fun family project. 96 00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:15,510 and it comes with a can of simulated snow. 97 00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:19,410 If you'd gotten two cans, we could have made a simulated snowman. 98 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,330 125. What does that mean? 99 00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:26,790 $125. 100 00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:28,370 That's the price. 101 00:06:28,790 --> 00:06:32,930 Is my math way off, or is that more than you would have paid Fahid? 102 00:06:34,210 --> 00:06:36,570 It's more, but it's less. 103 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,490 I'm talking to Karnak. 104 00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:41,330 It's more now. 105 00:06:41,950 --> 00:06:47,430 But it will be less because, you see, this tree is guaranteed for 25 years. 106 00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:51,890 Now, if you amortize that over the whole period, that's just $5 a year. 107 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:56,970 So we're going to be stuck with this thing for over a quarter of a century. 108 00:06:57,410 --> 00:07:00,710 When you see it assembled, it'll be fine. You'll see. 109 00:07:00,910 --> 00:07:05,170 I agree. I think a fake tree is fine. And I'm with Lynn. It doesn't matter 110 00:07:05,170 --> 00:07:07,730 kind of tree it is. A tree is just a symbol. Right, Bri? 111 00:07:08,030 --> 00:07:09,030 What's a symbol? 112 00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:10,409 He agrees. 113 00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:14,690 Well, this whole thing stinks if you ask me. Nobody's asking you. Well, I'm not 114 00:07:14,690 --> 00:07:15,690 waiting for an invitation. 115 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,350 First you drop the fake snow on me. 116 00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:23,310 Then you come waltzing in here with this miserable excuse for a tree. May I 117 00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:28,070 remind you it was you who chopped up our real tree? I knew you'd bring that up. 118 00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,450 There's people out there singing. 119 00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:34,430 Hey, 120 00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:38,630 you want me to get rid of them? No, no, Alf. They're caroling. 121 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,200 Then why are they singing? 122 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,940 Kevin's out there. Yeah. 123 00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:45,580 And Melissa. 124 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,180 Hi. Can I go with them? Well, I don't see why not. 125 00:07:49,460 --> 00:07:50,219 Let's all go. 126 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,220 Yeah. 127 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,360 Honey, let's go. 128 00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:57,680 Yeah, sure. Let me just... No, you know what? I want to stay here and assemble 129 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:01,260 the tree. I'll catch up with you at the manger by the gas station. Well, honey, 130 00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:04,260 I... I don't want you to miss the caroling. I'm not going to miss the 131 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:05,300 No, no. 132 00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:09,200 This tree isn't going to take long to put together, and then we'll all 133 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,120 it when you get back. Okay, we'll see you there. 134 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:12,340 Okay. 135 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,360 You're really going to let Brian go caroling? Well, sure, why not? 136 00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:21,440 Well, on Melmac, caroling was definitely not for children. How come? 137 00:08:22,020 --> 00:08:23,660 Well, you'd have to know Carol. 138 00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:35,860 Excuse me. 139 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,720 Would you mind some constructive criticism? 140 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:39,819 Yes, I would. 141 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,320 Why don't you read the instructions? 142 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:43,700 They're in Japanese. 143 00:08:44,159 --> 00:08:45,160 Then I'll read them. 144 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:54,200 What does it say in English? 145 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,620 So, you weren't able to buy a real tree. 146 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,560 Just skip the instruction part. 147 00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:02,420 Step one. 148 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,290 Paint the trunk green. 149 00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:06,470 Paint not included. 150 00:09:06,950 --> 00:09:09,290 I think I'll be able to handle this myself. 151 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,150 All right. 152 00:09:11,570 --> 00:09:12,690 You're on your own. 153 00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:14,750 Pretend I'm not here. 154 00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:17,230 Just like I'm doing with that tree. 155 00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:21,350 And look at that. 156 00:09:21,670 --> 00:09:23,790 Four inches of snow in Clayton, Georgia. 157 00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:26,590 Oh, darn. Now I'll let this paper. 158 00:09:27,219 --> 00:09:28,480 Twelve inches in Buffalo. 159 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,320 I should have bought a real tree. It's only once a year. I could have paid the 160 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,320 money. Whoa. 161 00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:38,900 Six inches of snow in the Angeles Forest. Now there's no more real trees. 162 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:39,900 lots are closed. 163 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,680 The Angeles Forest. 164 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:44,320 Yeah, they have snow. 165 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,040 Everyone has snow but the tanners. 166 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:51,680 No, Alf. We used to go there, Kate and I. We used to go there every year to a 167 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:55,200 tree farm. We cut down our own tree. Alf, that's the answer. 168 00:09:55,740 --> 00:09:59,860 It's only an hour away. I know the exact spot. I can cut down a tree, surprise 169 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:02,020 the family. Yeah, and they've got snow. 170 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:03,680 Let's go. 171 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:04,940 What do you mean, let's? 172 00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:08,860 Hey, you're not going to deny me the one chance I'll ever have to see snow, are 173 00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:09,799 you? 174 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:14,460 Well, I guess it's Christmas Eve. There's no one on the road. Why not? 175 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,140 Great. I'll warm up the car. I'll just leave a note. 176 00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:18,860 Wait, wait, wait. 177 00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:21,000 You're not warming up the car. Oh, no. 178 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,460 You get the chainsaw. Fill it with gas. 179 00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:25,060 No problem. 180 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:27,700 What am I saying? 181 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:38,040 The spot where you used to cut your tree. 182 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,180 Have you been there in person or just in your mind? 183 00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:48,400 We would have found the spot long ago if I'd been holding the map. 184 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,240 This place is barely on the map. 185 00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:54,700 I think we just passed the Donner Party. 186 00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:57,930 We'll find the spot. We'll find it soon. 187 00:10:59,230 --> 00:11:00,610 It's been two hours. 188 00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:03,830 By now, the family will be worried sick about me. 189 00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:06,050 What, do you want to go home? 190 00:11:06,610 --> 00:11:10,510 Yes. I mean, I haven't even seen that snow you promised. 191 00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:12,190 Just mud. 192 00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:15,190 I never promised snow. You did. 193 00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:16,529 Oh, yeah. 194 00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:17,970 You promised trees. 195 00:11:19,050 --> 00:11:20,050 All right. 196 00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:21,070 You win. 197 00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:25,190 We'll turn around to the next road. We'll go home. I'll work on the plastic 198 00:11:25,190 --> 00:11:26,350 until it's finished. 199 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:29,010 Great. We'll have Christmas in March. 200 00:11:29,530 --> 00:11:31,310 Just tell me where the next road is, okay? 201 00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:32,990 Fine. 202 00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:39,310 All right, there's a road coming up right now. Where? 203 00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:41,049 Up ahead. 204 00:11:41,050 --> 00:11:42,910 Where? There it is now. Turn here quick. 205 00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:46,190 Are you sure that doesn't look like a road? Yes, right here, I'm sure. I'm 206 00:11:46,190 --> 00:11:47,190 positive. All right. 207 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:55,440 No, wait. 208 00:11:59,940 --> 00:12:01,720 Fine, now we're stuck. 209 00:12:04,940 --> 00:12:09,040 If I'm not home before Santa gets there, I'll sue you. 210 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,080 Willie? 211 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,820 Al? 212 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:20,960 Anybody? 213 00:12:22,190 --> 00:12:23,430 they? I don't know. 214 00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:29,370 See? I told you this doll's gonna look. 215 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,810 I'm sure Dad hasn't finished with it yet. 216 00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:33,670 I wonder where they are. 217 00:12:34,770 --> 00:12:35,770 Here we go. 218 00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:38,750 Oh, they went to cut down a real tree. 219 00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,150 Mom, they've been gone a long time. 220 00:12:41,450 --> 00:12:45,090 They went to McConnell's Tree Farm. You know, we used to cut our Christmas tree 221 00:12:45,090 --> 00:12:46,090 down there every year. 222 00:12:46,790 --> 00:12:49,030 We got lost there every year, too. 223 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,040 Knock, knock. 224 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,400 Guess who? 225 00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:58,500 Mr. Armani. 226 00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:00,300 How is everybody? 227 00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:05,380 Oh, well, actually, we're fine, Trevor. Come on in. 228 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:07,600 Thanks, Kate. 229 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,260 Merry Christmas. 230 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,680 Merry Christmas, Trevor. 231 00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:15,740 Gosh, I love this holiday. 232 00:13:16,780 --> 00:13:17,780 Goodwill. 233 00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:19,400 Visiting with the neighbors. 234 00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:21,580 Sharing a little eggnog. 235 00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:24,960 Sharing a little eggnog. 236 00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:29,880 Would you like some eggnog, Mr. Akhmanek? If it's not too much trouble. 237 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,079 I'll get you some. 238 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,120 Heavy on the brandy. I know. 239 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,160 Yeah. Place looks great. 240 00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:38,680 Oh, thank you. 241 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,060 Beautiful decorations. 242 00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,360 Stockings hung by the chimney with care. 243 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,600 What the hell is this? 244 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,360 It's a Christmas tree. 245 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:49,960 I thought it was a coat rack. 246 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,940 Dad hasn't finished putting it together. 247 00:13:58,020 --> 00:14:00,180 So where is the old man? 248 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:01,760 He's in the woods. 249 00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,500 You mean like a religious thing? 250 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:04,900 Pilgrimage? 251 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:09,100 Well, he brought home this artificial Christmas tree, you see. So you kicked 252 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:12,440 out? No, he went to cut down a real one. 253 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,540 In that case, I'll have another eggnog. 254 00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:18,050 Hold the eggnog this time. I know. 255 00:14:21,990 --> 00:14:22,990 Okay, 256 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:28,630 I put the board under the wheel and I'm going to push. So when I say now, you 257 00:14:28,630 --> 00:14:30,830 release the brake and press the accelerator, okay? 258 00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:32,110 Do what? 259 00:14:32,310 --> 00:14:34,950 Release the brake and press the accelerator. 260 00:14:35,490 --> 00:14:36,490 Okay. 261 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:56,440 Thank you. 262 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,500 Now, we are completely stuck. 263 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,260 How long till spring? 264 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,840 This is terrible. 265 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,520 Brandon, I couldn't leave. 266 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,360 Yeah, this would never happen to Sonny Crockett. 267 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,540 What? It wouldn't. 268 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:18,200 He has a car phone. 269 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:19,880 He can call for help. 270 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,180 I'd love to do that, Al. 271 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:28,280 I'd love to be Superman. Then I could fly out of here. 272 00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:30,500 Well, now you're being silly. 273 00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:38,780 A whisker for your thoughts. 274 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,380 On Melmac, that's how you get someone to open up. 275 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:52,200 Oh, I was just thinking about what's being Christmas. 276 00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:57,390 This sounds like it's going to be sentimental. 277 00:15:58,030 --> 00:16:00,410 What if I turn on some music? Yeah, go ahead. 278 00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:06,570 I don't know. Even when I was a kid, I think the most important thing was that 279 00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:07,910 we had that dream. 280 00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:12,010 A real dream. My dad used to bring it home on Christmas Eve, and we all 281 00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:17,270 decorated. The whole family would all pitch in. Me and my brother, my Uncle 282 00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:18,270 Doug. 283 00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:20,030 Incidentally, my condolences. 284 00:16:20,330 --> 00:16:21,330 Oh, thanks. 285 00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:27,120 You know, sometimes there wasn't enough money to buy presents. 286 00:16:27,940 --> 00:16:29,860 But there always was that tree. 287 00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:31,620 A real tree. 288 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:40,340 We'd keep that tree up until every last needle was gone. I remember one fourth 289 00:16:40,340 --> 00:16:42,700 of July. Mind if I switch on to the ball game? 290 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,480 You just, you don't get it, do you? Sure I do. 291 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,140 I'm just trying to keep from crying. 292 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:58,540 Let's just sit here and be quiet, okay? 293 00:16:58,940 --> 00:16:59,940 Okay. 294 00:17:00,780 --> 00:17:01,860 Being quiet. 295 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,119 Waiting patiently. 296 00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:06,780 Saying nothing. 297 00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:09,819 How'd your Uncle Doug die? 298 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,460 He was talking too much, and somebody hit him. 299 00:17:17,060 --> 00:17:19,400 Fine. Back to quiet. 300 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,380 We'll just sit here and listen to the mud. 301 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,890 Mother, everything looks so beautiful. 302 00:17:43,470 --> 00:17:47,470 Yeah, I can't wait for Dad to get here with the tree so we can decorate it 303 00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:50,130 together like we do every year. 304 00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:55,310 Nothing is as much fun without him as it is with him. Oh, yes. He's an excellent 305 00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:56,450 husband and father. 306 00:17:58,290 --> 00:17:59,710 Then let's be him now. 307 00:18:00,090 --> 00:18:01,090 I'll get the door. 308 00:18:01,510 --> 00:18:02,830 No, let me. 309 00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:05,090 Why don't we all go? 310 00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:13,810 Merry Christmas, everyone. 311 00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:17,130 What a beautiful tree. 312 00:18:17,690 --> 00:18:22,050 Oh, Dad, it's even more beautiful than last year. Oh, you really outdid 313 00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:24,870 yourself. Thank you. Wherever did you get it? 314 00:18:25,090 --> 00:18:26,090 Bahid gave it to me. 315 00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:28,930 Absolutely free. He's such a nice man. 316 00:18:29,210 --> 00:18:31,410 Now we can decorate it. 317 00:18:31,750 --> 00:18:32,850 Isn't this great? 318 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:39,620 Two perfect kids, a beautiful wife, a big tree. Could anyone want more? 319 00:18:39,860 --> 00:18:42,700 I agree. It really is a wonderful life. 320 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,500 How could it not be? I mean, it's not like we've got an alien living with us 321 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:49,920 anything. Why, Dad, why would you say a thing like that? 322 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,340 Oh, I don't know. 323 00:18:52,860 --> 00:18:55,660 Brian, why don't you get the cranberries and popcorn? 324 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,780 I'll get the tinsel. Come on, Brian. Don't forget the star. 325 00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:01,600 Oh, excuse me, dear. 326 00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:05,280 But doesn't the tree lean a little bit too much to the left? 327 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,980 Oh, I don't think so. It looks fine to me. 328 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,800 Well, it's not fine to me. Not fine at all. 329 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,240 I'd better call the tree repairman. 330 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:19,580 Operator, get me the tree repairman. The tree repairman? I don't think there's 331 00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:21,420 any such thing as a... He's on his way. 332 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:23,980 Maybe that's him now. 333 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:28,360 But we don't need any tree repairman. 334 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,030 See, you got a leaner there. 335 00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:33,250 Oh, my God. 336 00:19:33,370 --> 00:19:34,370 It's him. 337 00:19:34,930 --> 00:19:37,130 Kate, don't let him touch the tree. 338 00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:39,029 Relax, pal. 339 00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:40,190 I'll only be a minute. 340 00:19:42,810 --> 00:19:45,850 What are you doing here? This is my dream. You can't be in this. 341 00:19:46,410 --> 00:19:47,570 Whoops. Here, hold this. 342 00:19:47,830 --> 00:19:49,190 Get away from my tree. 343 00:19:49,810 --> 00:19:51,130 Ah, here we go, lady. 344 00:19:51,370 --> 00:19:53,230 I found the problem with your tree. 345 00:19:54,230 --> 00:19:55,230 It's a fake. 346 00:19:55,690 --> 00:19:58,150 You bought a fake tree? 347 00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:00,660 Willie, you should be ashamed. 348 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,160 But it's not a fake. 349 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,420 I mean, it wasn't until he got here. 350 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:07,380 Look at our perfect Christmas. 351 00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:09,120 It's unraveling. 352 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,760 What's he whining about now? 353 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,500 He bought a fake tree. 354 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,800 That figures. 355 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,380 Why are you dressed like that? 356 00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:22,340 My boyfriends are coming by to get me, so I don't have to help decorate this 357 00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:23,420 synthetic stump. 358 00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:27,840 You're ruining my dream. 359 00:20:28,380 --> 00:20:31,620 I can't fix this here. I'm going to have to take it into the shop. 360 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:37,580 Bye, Mom. I'm leaving for some unnamed Central American country. 361 00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:42,060 But Brian, I thought we were going to decorate the tree. 362 00:20:42,380 --> 00:20:44,920 Later, Dad. I'm off to stem the tide of communism. 363 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,540 That'll be my lover. 364 00:20:58,570 --> 00:20:59,790 You ready to go, babe? 365 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,010 Don't wait up. 366 00:21:06,070 --> 00:21:10,870 Your tree should be ready around Easter. But call first. 367 00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:12,230 Here's your stuff. 368 00:21:12,870 --> 00:21:14,310 You're not taking my tree. 369 00:21:15,010 --> 00:21:16,010 I want my tree. 370 00:21:16,250 --> 00:21:17,690 I want my tree. 371 00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:20,570 I want my tree. 372 00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:22,050 I want my tree. 373 00:21:22,290 --> 00:21:23,770 I want my tree. 374 00:21:24,130 --> 00:21:25,130 Lighten up, Willie. 375 00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:26,330 You got it. 376 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,120 What's going on here? 377 00:21:29,740 --> 00:21:32,620 Nothing. I just loaded a tree into the car. 378 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,040 Where did you get it? 379 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:35,579 Think, Willie. 380 00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:36,860 Where do we get trees? 381 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,060 You mean you went out to the woods and cut down this tree for me? 382 00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:42,100 Isn't that what we came here for? 383 00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:44,900 Oh, I don't know what to say. 384 00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:46,660 Well, you better say it quick. 385 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,820 There's a forest ranger headed this way. 386 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,880 He must have heard the chainsaw. 387 00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:56,300 Well, at least we're going to get help, and we're going to get home, and... 388 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,280 We're going to get fined. 389 00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:02,860 Willie! Willie, look! 390 00:22:04,620 --> 00:22:06,000 Snow. Snow! 391 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,520 I finally get to see snow! 392 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,180 You in there. I want to talk to you about that tree. 393 00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:19,780 Merry Christmas, Al. 394 00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:21,340 Merry Christmas, Willie. 395 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:23,520 Yes. 396 00:22:35,340 --> 00:22:36,340 This is great, Brian. 397 00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:38,620 It's for giving eye exams, right? 398 00:22:39,180 --> 00:22:41,960 No, you look into it and push the button. 399 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,720 It's Sylvester and Tweety. 400 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,220 Ha! Die, cat, die! 401 00:22:49,580 --> 00:22:52,360 Yeah! What a great Christmas. 402 00:22:52,660 --> 00:22:55,640 Yeah, and we ended up with a really beautiful tree. 403 00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:56,980 It should be. 404 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:03,980 It cost me $367, what with the fine and tolling. A small price to pay for 405 00:23:03,980 --> 00:23:05,840 keeping a poor boy's dream alive. 406 00:23:06,940 --> 00:23:09,240 What are these presents for? 407 00:23:09,660 --> 00:23:14,040 Oh, I almost forgot. A few tokens from the old Alfer. 408 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:15,760 Well, you got us presents? 409 00:23:16,260 --> 00:23:17,720 Al, you can't shop. 410 00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:21,260 This is America, Kate. Everybody can shop. 411 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,280 I used a catalog. 412 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,240 A catalog? From where? 413 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,220 The Hardware Hamlet. My account. 414 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:29,520 Who else? 415 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,520 Sal, look. 416 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:33,880 A staple gun. 417 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,940 Need a leaf blower. 418 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,020 I hope that's the kind you like. 419 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,720 Goodness. A rotary sander for me. 420 00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:43,500 Weather stripping. 421 00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:44,900 My, my. 422 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,860 It is the thought that counts. 423 00:23:47,140 --> 00:23:49,420 And the important thing is we're all together. 424 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,700 In the words of the immortal St. Frosty the Snowman. 425 00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:56,700 God bless us all, everyone. 426 00:24:34,190 --> 00:24:35,190 Christmas!